First Day

Today is difficult.

I took a chance and took my first double dose of Venlafaxine (Effexor), which turns out to be slow release.

So far it’s not helping. I don’t know how “slow” it’s releasing but it’s not helping. Perhaps it needs to build in my system. I am starting to feel like I’m losing control of myself today.

I read that Effexor XR (extended release) peaks potency in the body within 5.5 to 9 hours with regular dosages and maintains its efficacy.

I don’t have 5.5 hrs!!!!!
I don’t even have 2.
I can barely hold myself together.

I am going to take a shower, get dressed up and take my children shopping. I have to find ways to be okay with me today.
I have to try.

I KNOW this is my head fucking with me and I have to try my damndest to stay in control.
ME. I have to be in control… not my head.
Today I am FORCING myself to be happy hoping my head will believe the lie and let me have some peace.
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