I’ve been going through the motions…
Still loving the person who has a lot of power over me.
The power to hurt me by means of indifference. I never thought he would hurt me as much as he has.
He confuses me because he is nothing if not observant.
He watches my every action. Doesn’t comment but is very much aware of everything I do. Everything I say. Everything I write.
He is aware of every text message I receive. The moment my phone chimes, his eyes dart to it.
He is aware of every Facebook post I make. He refuses to comment but he will mention it if he does not like it. He believes every post is related to him.
If he won’t forgive me why does he still care?
If he cares why won’t he forgive me?
Why is he indifferent?
Indifference KILLS me.
I would rather he be rude, mean and nasty.
I would take anything… anything at all but indifference.
Indifference hurts more than physical violence.
The point I am trying to perhaps make is that I am moving on. Tonight I decided to move 99% of my things out.
Finally… finally moving on.
I am moving out.
I am so happy that I have been forced to take this step.
Tomorrow night I will sleep in my own place.
And I am happy!!!! For the first time in a long time… I am happy that I am doing something for… ME.
Me!
I come first for once.
I am looking forward to me being… me.
Again.
… I only hope I have not forgotten who I am…
I'm Fine 